I Smoked And Ranked 9 Rolling Papers... For Science

FACT: There are many, many different kinds of rolling papers out there. Some people use them for tobacco, some don't.  
FACT: They can't all be good. 
HYPOTHESIS: Or can they?!

I'd need a good, cheap (keyword cheap) tobacco to literally fuel this scientific fire, so I picked up a pack of Bugler knowing I'd have plenty of product for all nine packs of papers.

7.Trip - $3.99
Durability: These things look like little pieces of plastic and kind of act as such... rolling them was a huge challenge. 
Taste: Call me crazy, but these taste exactly like fruit punch. 100% straight-up fruit punch. WTF. 

Smokability: I found these very hard to smoke. The light continually went out and I thought I was going to die — even though they're clearly not made of plastic. 

4.Bambu - $2.99
Durability: Easy to maneuver like a Prius in Oregon. 
Taste: Sweet like Kix — but neither kid-tested, nor mother-approved.  

Smokability: An easy, happy smoke. The Bob Ross of rolling papers.

1. Smoking Deluxe - $4.99
Durability: Four meters of paper? HOW can you go wrong?
Taste: Like the outer shell of an eggroll. Scrumptious and delicate. 
Smokability: Perfect. With over thirteen feet of paper, you'd have to be an idiot not to make a giant cigarette. 

And that was a self-imposed challenge I simply had to take. 

It was outrageously difficult rolling together the damn beast — and I used nearly half of my tobacco in the body alone. Soon it became my white whale and the endeavor nearly killed me. 

The payoff was passionately licking the cigarette from head to toe. The photographer got really weirded out and then I got really weirded out and then we both laughed a little. 

SO WORTH IT. 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I started smoking again.

Jeremy Glass is the Vice editor for Supercompressor and this is definitely not the worst thing he's done to his body.