Alite Designs

Posted on 3/5/14


When we first saw Alite Designs' Sexy Hotness Sleeping Bag, we were impressed by the user-friendly design and strategically placed zippers that facilitated indoor sports, outdoors. Recently, however, Alite has taken couples camping to the next level by producing the Sex in the Woods Kit — two sleeping bags and a flask. Naturally, this seemed a little thin to us, so we've taken it upon ourselves to make the list a bit more comprehensive.

Alite Designs
S.H. Sleeping Bag - $1...69 (of course)
The foundation of the Alite Design's original kit, these bags let you really move while staying in the comfort of our own bag.
Stanley Classic Flask - $22 x 2
We decided to tweak the Alite's original kit by adding another flask. Because more options are better, and nobody likes to share.
VW Camper Van Tent - $500
While the stars are a decent ceiling, this tent offers a little privacy and a little inspiration from the Summer of Love. A breathtaking 1:1 full scale tent-version of the sixties classic, this vehicle (probably) has the record for most children conceived. And you know what? That means something.
The Cocksman Club - $20/mo for 24
Speaking of conception... Be safe. No baby. No rash. No Dallas Buyers Club (congrats Mateo!) situation. Alright, alright, alright?
Underwood Canned Wine - $24
If you feel like classin' up the joint with a little canned wine, Underwood's Pinot Noir is a great back country option. Now, we decided to recommend this over screwtop wine (easy jokes) because it can be crunched down to a lightweight, space-saving size. Because leave no trace. 
Sex Love Chewing Gus - $Unclear
If you're under too much stress from bears, or suffering from having too many canned wines and flasks, this gum promises to elicit "10 to 20 minutes of sexual desire." And unlike Viagra, it's made of aphrodisiac herbs so it fits right into your surroundings — sort of.

Ethan Wolff-Mann is the Gear editor of Supercompressor. He is intensely private, so please respect his privacy by not stalking him on Twitter @ewolffmann.

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