Zastavki

Posted on 4/10/14

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Somehow still described by IMDb as "striking and somewhat boyishly handsome," Steven Seagal and his ponytail are trucking through year 62. Unlike the rest of our favorite action heroes, Steven's "characters" never had any flaws, which turned out to be a refreshing change from the typical mold. No one had the gall to try that unorthodox dramatic strategy except Steven. Though we might not see him go full Under Siege much anymore, he still has plenty on his plate. Like Arnold, Jackie, and the rest, the man keeps busy. Really busy. Here are just a few of the things he's done.

Deputy Sheriff
Back in the 1980s, the Parish sherif asked Steven to train his guys in hand-to-hand combat. Soon after, the department asked Steven to come on as a reserve deputy. A&E made a reality show about it. Maybe you've seen it — it drew the most viewers of any season opener on A&E, ever.
Interesting One 99
Martial Artist and Teacher
Steven is an extremely legit martial artist. He learned Aikidio in the sixties (an old pic from the early days is above) and honed his craft up to a 7th dan degree black belt. While living in Japan in the seventies, he became the very first westerner to operate an Aikido dojo. Steven also trained a couple UFC fighters and helped them ace the front kick. He was even the martial arts stunt coordinator for one or two James Bond movies, depending if you count Never Say Never Again.
WaPo
Putin Watchdog
Though Steven has defended "Brother" Putin on multiple occasions, it's a fair bet that he's secretly acting, and using the "friendship" to get closer to the Russian autocrat.
Actor
Contrary to popular belief, Steven Seagal is an actor, not just a martial artist. Those movies where you see him beating up everyone? They're not actually getting hurt, that's acting. See this chef's hat? He's not really a cook.
Beer Promoter
Steven hucks for Carlton Dry, an Australian beer company owned by the Fosters group. He made some truly phenomenal ads.
Everything Action
Musician
Seriously, this guy is a triple threat. He can act, shred the guitar, and choreograph with the best of them. He tours with his band Thunderbox and has dueted with Stevie Wonder.
Panda of the Day
Animal Rights Activist
Besides owning a dude ranch, Steven adopts a ton of animals from shelters and was awarded a humanitarian award from PETA in 1999. He also wrote an open letter to Thailand telling them to make baby elephant torturing illegal (this actually happens and it's heartbreaking).
Businessman
He has an energy drink called "Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt," an aftershave called "Scent of Action," and a line of homeopathic oils, because he's into that.
Tibetan Altar
A Reincarnated Buddhist Lama
Steven was named a "tulku" by a very important lama, which means he is a the reincarnation of a 17th century  "treasure revealer" named Chungdrag Dorje. However, many people suspected a sale of indulgences situation (i.e. paying for his redemption), due to his donations to a Buddhist center.

Update: Here's a message from the birthday boy himself.



Ethan Wolff-Mann is the Gear editor of Supercompressor. He is also a reincarnated Buddhist lama. Follow him on Twitter @ewolffmann.

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