The Most American Way To Carry Your Condiments

You're lying if you say you've never thought to yourself, Gee, this beverage isn't nearly close enough to my ranch dressing and/or tangy barbecue sauce. As Americans, it's our civic duty to invent devices that make it ever easier to shovel food into our gluttonous faces. Enter the Fast Food Buddy. 

This ingenious creation fits conveniently into your car's existing cup holder—or hooks around the car door—allowing you to sip and dip with ease. Made in the United States (where else?) and fashioned from lightweight plastic, the Fast Food Buddy has found a way to make fast food even lazier, slashing the extra 10 seconds it takes to reach across the table for dipping sauces.

Most impressively, it's optimized for both round and square condiment containers, because goddamn it, you should not have to choose between hot sauce and blue cheese.

This is America. There is no or—there is only and.

Ali Drucker is the editorial assistant for Supercompressor. If they sold an IV for ranch dressing, she'd buy it. Lecture her about nutrition on Twitter @ali_drucker.